Where My Dreams Lie

I WANNA GO INTO STUDIO PHOTOGRAPHY. All these photojournalism stuff is boring the hell out of me. Years of taking pictures of events and landscape is starting to wear down on me, I prefer created settings. Events are repetitive these days. It's always the same shots, always the same background, always the same colours - heck, everything is starting to look the same.

You go out and you start thinking, been there done that. You take a shot at something and you realise how similar it is from one of your past photos. You hold up your camera and you predict the next move of your subject even before looking through the viewfinder. Right then, inspirations are not fed. Creativity gets limited. Words are lost. The challenges are gone. You end up with something that doesn't satisfy your thirst. In other words, nothing.

On the other hand, there is one area I've never got myself into. Studio. Portraits are captivating. Capturing human beings is entertaining. Having tools to play around with is fascinating. I want to be in control of my environment. I want to limit myself yet producing unlimited outcomes. I want to be able to re-create settings on different subjects. Re-create subjects in different settings. I want to be able to experiment, construct, compose, organise, establish, invent my work space and in so doing I am able to generate, discover, build, develop upon something that already exists while telling a story with hidden meaning that can touch strangers, not just the people who are connected to the image, but those who first encounter the photo, resulting in a masterpiece in the form of art photography. It's like photoshop, but analog.

How long? And when? I have yet to learn more. A lot more. But how without the time and tools? This dream is far from near right now. Sadly.

I have a dream, but to dream is all I can.

Photo: 'Fallen & Trapped'. Taken at Tasek Lama.